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How can I help my friend going through divorce?

If it were up to us, our friends would never go through hard times. But, when a friend is going through a divorce, it can be tricky to navigate supporting them. We do not want to push too hard or alienate them by giving them too much space. After all, as Texans, we have an innate need to help our loved ones. And, with a few tips, our readers can help.

Keep them in our lives

When a friend is going through a divorce, they sometimes, may present as fine and other times, may seem like they are lost. As friends and loved ones, our job is to be there when they are ready, but that does not mean waiting. It means being proactive. Keep inviting them to events. Invite them to parties. Invite them to coffee dates. Keep them on the group texts. While they may not always respond or attend, just being invited helps the healing process.

There is no official divorce manual

What worked for one, may or may not work for another. Especially for those that have already gone through a divorce, it may be temping to usher our friends down our path. But, realize that everyone’s divorce healing journey is different. It is not linear. Be a part of their life, offer that advice, but accept that they may not accept it. And, it may not work if it does. Do not push.


Honor their unique divorce healing journey. When they say what they need, do it, regardless of how it may affect one personally. At this point, it is about our friend’s needs, not our own. Ask how to help, and then help in that way. It may not always feel good, but this time will pass.


The ending of a marriage, especially a long one, can be a dark time. It is easy to lose confidence. It is easy to look at the dark side of everything. That is why it is the duty of friends to cheerlead. Constantly talk about what makes them special. Build back up that confidence, and be there with encouragement and emotional boosts, as needed.

It is going to be okay

For our Rio Grande and McAllen, Texas, readers looking to help divorcing friends, realize, it will be okay. While healing from a divorce takes time, honoring their unique divorce journey and giving our friends the encouragement and resources they need will make that journey much easier for our loved ones.


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